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pgm316
06-Jan-2003, 03:13 PM
Family Fortunes

The following are actual answers given by contestants on the British TV show Family Fortunes.

For anyone unfamiliar with the format, a survey is taken to see what answer the general public would give to specific questions. The contestant on the show then has to guess what the top answers given by the public were. The following are the contestants answers:

Name something a blind person might use - a sword
Name a song with moon in the title - Blue Suede Moon
Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell
Name an occupation where you need a torch - a burglar
Name a famous brother and sister - Bonnie & Clyde
Name a dangerous race - The Arabs
Name an item of clothing worn by the three Musketeers - a horse
Name something that floats in the bath - Water
Name something you wear on the beach - A deckchair
Name something red - my cardigan
Name a famous cowboy - Buck Rogers
Name a famous royal - mail
Name a number you have to memorise - 7
Name something you do before going to bed - sleep
Name something you put on walls - roofs
Name something in the garden that's green - shed
Name something that flies and doesn't have an engine - a bicycle with wings
Name something you might be allergic to - skiing
Name a famous bridge - The bridge over troubled waters
Name something a cat does - goes to the toilet
Name something you do in the bathroom - decorate
Name an animal you might see at the zoo - a dog
Name something associated with the police - pigs
Name a sign of the zodiac - April
Name a kind of ache - Fillet 'O' Fish
Name a food that can be brown or white - potato
Name a jacket potato topping - Jam
Name a famous Scotsman - Jock
Name another famous Scottsman - Vinnie Jones
Name somewthing with a hole in it - a window
Name a non-living object with legs - a plant
Name a domestic animal - Leopard
Name a part of your body beginning with N - Knee
Name a way of cooking fish - Cod
Name something you open other than a door - your bowels.
And finally : Name a popular TV soap - Dove

Children's Wisdom
1. Never trust a dog to watch your food - Patrick, 10
2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him - Michael, 14
3. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a cricket bat - Joel, 10
4. Never pee on an electric fence - Robert, 13
5. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic Tac - Andrew, 9
6. When your mum is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair - Taylia, 11
7. Never allow your three-year-old brother in the same room as your homework - Tracey, 14
8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in your milk - Armir, 9
9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts - Kellie, 11
10. Don't sneeze in front of your mum, when you're eating a cracker - Mitchell, 12
11. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse - Naomi, 15
12. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick - Lauren, 9
13. Never tell your mum her diet's not working - Michael, 14
14. If you get a bad school report, show it to your mum when she's on the phone - Alyesha, 13

Cain
06-Jan-2003, 04:35 PM
LOL!!! I espeacially like these -

3. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a cricket bat - Joel, 10
4. Never pee on an electric fence - Robert, 13

LOL!!! :D

|Cain|

darlph
06-Jan-2003, 09:24 PM
These are good! What i NEEDED to make my day.

TkdWarrior
07-Jan-2003, 12:39 AM
"14. If you get a bad school report, show it to your mum when she's on the phone - Alyesha, 13"

i bet this works real good :D
-TkdWarrior-

pgm316
07-Jan-2003, 09:08 AM
Originally posted by darlph
These are good! What i NEEDED to make my day.

Glad to hear they made your day a bit better :)

They helped me get through my first day back at work!

Qis
22-Dec-2003, 12:42 PM
ok.
i'm crying
tears running down my face.

-Qis

Guerilla Fists
22-Dec-2003, 10:44 PM
I can't control myself. "name a dangerous race" what kind of @sshole would say "Arabs"? Besides a damn funny one i mean. My god that had me doing the silent-laugh-in-my-cubicle-while-I-pray-no-one-hears-me. Oh man, hilarious.

Saz
22-Dec-2003, 11:08 PM
I saw a TV show on this earlier tonight. Someone was asked "Name something made out of Wool" they answered "A Sheep"

If you didn't laugh, you'd cry :)

abby
23-Dec-2003, 02:55 PM
I love the survey ones! funny funny funny! :)

judojedi
23-Dec-2003, 03:21 PM
Originally posted by Kgirl
I saw a TV show on this earlier tonight. Someone was asked "Name something made out of Wool" they answered "A Sheep"

If you didn't laugh, you'd cry :)

:mad: humf!
i was going to say that one!

:rolleyes: did you see that one when les dennis goes:

'coconut? well you've got a lovely bunch of them!'

:p
and then proceeded to dig himself deeper by talking about his own coconuts. :)

quartermaster
27-Dec-2003, 05:52 PM
this is the most fun i've had in weeks
**shame**

judojedi
05-Jan-2004, 12:38 PM
OMG!
on my way to lunch, there was a discussion on the radio about which planet is closest to the sun, earth or mars.

some people were saying they thought it was earth, some people were saying its mars.

then one person came on the line and said
'ITS DEFINATLEY MARS! cos it goes mercurey, venus, earth, the sun, mars, uranus, saturn then pluto!'

and the dopey dj was like ' oh you must be the only one who payed any attention in school, there you have it end of discussion.'

i nearly crashed the car. if i knew the number of the station i would of called in and set them straight.

how can people not know the order of the planets in our own solar system?

David
05-Jan-2004, 02:51 PM
omg!

:D

Fire_Wings
05-Jan-2004, 03:48 PM
Tha's just discusting... Planets...

quartermaster
05-Jan-2004, 09:44 PM
surely everyone knows the order
*convincing self that (educated) human race is not that stupid*
surely everyone.....

YODA
05-Jan-2004, 09:49 PM
Originally posted by Ginger Fist
surely everyone knows the order
*convincing self that (educated) human race is not that stupid*
surely everyone.....

Even if they didn't you would hope they'd know that the Sun is in the middle!

judojedi
06-Jan-2004, 11:07 AM
it was on centuary fm at about 12.35 yesterday, did anyone else hear it?

i didn't know wether to laugh or what. it was the way the caller was stating her 'facts' that made it so funny. you know a sort of "i'm right! so there!" sort of tone.

anyway on the topic of the thread, here are some of the current mrs jedi's little gems:
whats popcorn made of?
(when told it was corn)- so sweet corn makes sweet popcorn?
(watching merseyside derby) what colour are we?
how come you have to head for north wales in order to get to south wales?
wheres the north pole?
pryamids are in egypt not mexico!
egypt is further away than austrailer!

there is more, i cant think though....i will update if i think on.

booksie_girl
06-Jan-2004, 11:46 AM
Originally posted by YODA
Even if they didn't you would hope they'd know that the Sun is in the middle!

They did know

''ITS DEFINATLEY MARS! cos it goes mercurey, venus, earth, the sun, mars, uranus, saturn then pluto!'

3 planets before, 4 after, that's pretty much in the middle as far as you can go without cutting a planet in half :Angel:

judojedi
06-Jan-2004, 12:27 PM
:p

teacher
06-Jan-2004, 06:46 PM
"My Very Easy Method Just Speeds Up Naming Planets"

All 36 of my second years can say it.

3 of them still dont get it.

quartermaster
06-Jan-2004, 07:19 PM
there's a good one for remembering colour codes on resistors in electrics but i cant post it here due to the word "rape"

xubis
06-Jan-2004, 10:36 PM
Originally posted by TkdWarrior
"14. If you get a bad school report, show it to your mum when she's on the phone - Alyesha, 13"

i bet this works real good :D
-TkdWarrior- Of course it does, I am talking from experience, mothers agree to anything if they are on the phone, I always ask to go out if I am grounded or to make a pizza ;) It isn't till she gets off of the phone she is like "Oh I wasn't listening" and you pretend you thought she was ;)

xubis
06-Jan-2004, 10:37 PM
My very elegent mother just sat upon nine porcupines

David
06-Jan-2004, 11:46 PM
I like these sentences for remembering planet order - hadn't known any before :)

Side issue: do any UK readers happen to know which very bright white planet I saw early evening in the South-West quarter? I would have guessed Venus but it seemed too big.

Rgds,
David

judojedi
07-Jan-2004, 09:09 AM
i learnt the order of the planets from when i visited a plana'arium (south park joke) when i was very young. never learnt any rhymes to it though, for some reason it stuck in my head untill we started learning it in school

Qis
07-Jan-2004, 09:44 AM
Ginger-
'ahem' swap rape with ravish( ravishes).
that's the way i was taught it anyway ;¬)

I also never knew any planet order mneumonics( or whatever they're called )
hang on, are they reverse mneumonics? what's a reverse mneumonic called?

-Qis

David
07-Jan-2004, 10:12 AM
Qis, wipe the rabid foam from your mouth and start again ;)

The building next door to where I sit now is a planetarium. It's run by a famous astronomer Percy Seymour. He wrote books like "The Scientific Basis of Astrology" and "The Birth of Christ: Exploding the Myth" where he concluded that the star of Bethlehem was in 4BC or whatever.

Enough of my off-topic waffle!

Rgds,
David