Whats the worst martial arts film!?

[pgm316]

We've all said which we like most! Lets hear which you think is the lamest :p

[TkdWarrior]

kung pow
-TkdWarrior-

[pgm316]

No Tkd! That was a really funny film, it was a total piss take. And not a serious MA film

[TkdWarrior]

Originally posted by pgm316
Lets hear which you think is the lamest :p :p :woo:
-TkdWarrior-

[big e]

once upon a time in china
jet li - C c r r r a a a a p p p p p

[Joe karate]

Kung Pow was a GREAT MOVIE! I'll admit i thought it was crap for about the first 20 minutes and then i had an enlightenment! It all made sense and I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF for the rest of the movie(seriously)

[TkdWarrior]

doh i never watched after 5 minutes(that too i got really pissed off)
-TkdWarrior-

[DeSeRt RaT UK]

Originally posted by big e
once upon a time in china
jet li - C c r r r a a a a p p p p p

true, but you gotta love the end fight with the ladders!

[TkdWarrior]

the only jet li movei i didn't like was KOD...
even the One was much better...
-TkdWarrior-

[Tosh]

Don't know if it's strictly a martial arts film but

...."They call me Bruce"....

made me want to kick someones ass :(

[DeSeRt RaT UK]

Originally posted by TkdWarrior
the only jet li movei i didn't like was KOD...
even the One was much better...
-TkdWarrior-

lol, dunno if you have seen once upon a time in china AND america. You might think differently :p

God save my soul for buying it :)

[TkdWarrior]

i dunno about america ...
but seen once upon a time in china...it'sn ot that much bad..
-TkdWarrior-

[LilBunnyRabbit]

the only jet li movei i didn't like was KOD...

How could you not like Kiss of the Dragon, one of his best?

[Cain]

Karate kid series

|Cain|

[Andy Murray]

NO WAY!

The Wong Fei Hung films with Jet Li are masterpeices. He's a Chinese folk hero, so the films are the equivalent of John Wayne playing Davie Crockett at the Alamo. Classic Jet Li.

Karate Kid 1 is a classic, the other two were pretty schmaltzy/cheesy.

Hated Kung Pow to bits, I laughed twice and only because my wife rented the video and kept asking me if I was enjoying it. Sucked like Monica!

I'll second Kung Pow (Dung Pile)!

[Cain]

Sure the karate kid series were cheesy, but still I think they were tooo kiddy :D

|Cain|

[Mark]

Mortal kombat 2 was the worst movies I had ever seen. Mortal Kombat was very good im my opinion, but the sequal was just plain BAD!!

[darlph]

Kung Pow. The way they advertised it and then I found it was an over dub of and older movie. The cows were okay, but if I ever hear that girl scream again.............ooooooooooooo
Here' a real cheesy one, "Kung Fu, the punch of death" a dub over also with the mouths and voices not in sync. I think it's an early 70's vintage and my neice bought it for my birthday some years back.. Can't hurt well intentioned people.

[YODA]

I think they're all crap. I don't watch martial arts film as a rule.

[pgm316]

Apparently Tarrantino is a big Jackie Chan fan, I’d really like to see him make a MA film! That would definitely be a lot more interesting than the average MA film.

There probably are more crap ones than decent ones. Although some of the crap ones are so crap there good :p

[Cain]

I don't like most of the old chinese movies where the two fighters would fight for 30 minutes on the screen trying to throw each other off balance when they have got a chance to whack their opponent's nose to a pulp.

BTW but I sort of like them because in most of those old 'kung fu' movies the fighters always seem to keep at least one leg off the ground when fighting, whew! Talk about balancing :rolleyes:

|Cain|

[johndoch]

Kung Pow wot a pile of S**T.

nuff said

[pgm316]

Do you think so Doc, I thought it was a fairly amusing Pi$$ take of the 70's Kung Fu films. I think you had to be a fan of old Kung Fu films to like it at all though........

[johndoch]

I like the old kung fu movies, the cornier the better. I just thought Kung Pow was trying to be to funny whereas the the old Hong Kong movies are funny without even tryin.

It would have been funnier if I was drunk.

[pgm316]

Drunk, I think thats why I liked it :D

It probably did try to hard, didn't enjoy it as much the second time. Maybe it was spoilt by trying to go for the main film audience instead of just the MA diehards.....

I know what you mean with the old ones, there funny without even trying!

[Tintin]

So bad its great, I have to recommend "master of the flying guillotine". Available at all good car boot sales NOW!

I saw it about 15 years ago, and I still don't think a film has made me laugh as much since. Basically you have the good guy - a one armed boxer, against the bad guy - a blind old bloke with what looks like a lamp shade on a dog leash, which once thrown onto someones head has a wedding veil type thing of razors drop down to the persons neck. One quick pull and hey presto, its headless chicken time!

Plus the obligatory tournament bit fighting above pits of spikes etc.

A true classic which you must see, although I doubt they ever made more than about 5 copies.

[khafra]

I don't know about the worst movie, but the worst fight scene ever was at the end of Doc Savage, Man of Bronze. Calling it a horrific travesty gives horrific travesties a bad name. It's indescribable, you have to see it to understand or believe.

[Cain]

Worst fighting? Hmm.....that would be universal soldier, don't remember the sequel but Jean Claude Van Damme was the one kickin' a$$ :D

|Cain|

[kihon]

bloodsport has awful acting! and the audio wasnt aligned properly

[thepunisher]

We've all said which we like most! Lets hear which you think is the lamest :p

"No retreat, no surrender."

Christian

[bcullen]

The Heroic Trio.
I enjoy cheesy MA flicks but this one left me wanting to sue the makers for the couple hours of my life they had taken. There was an interesting hostage taking concept in the final climatic battle with the demon (yup, you heard right) at the end; other then that it's the worst of both the fanstasy/horror and martial arts genres.

[butcher wing]

Any of the china o'brien films.
Van dammes films.
Chuck norris films.
seagals films (NOT Above The Law or Under siege)


Fantasy mission Force is pants too.

[Cougar_v203]

gotta go with butcher.

[Pureworld]

3 ninjas (or something like that)

[PsiCop]

"Best of the Best 4: Without Warning"

.....Horrible, horrible movie.

[Sever]

American Ninja 3 was pretty wretched

[karate P.belt 2]

karate kid 3 man that was just plain crap

Karate kid series

|Cain|
WTF?! KK 1 2 & 4 were terrific, the best even.
KK was the 1st movie to show the spiritual side to karate. it was allways there but untill then the movies only showed the kick-butt half of karate

[TheCount]

I think the three ninja movies are just balls

[oni_sensei]

I'm gonna need an asbestos riot shield for this, but I've never ever been a fan of Bruce Lee's films.

[pgm316]

I'm gonna need an asbestos riot shield for this, but I've never ever been a fan of Bruce Lee's films.

I think most will agree on that ;)

The films are old and generaly poor by todays standards, only reason to watch is for glimpses of the great man :Angel:

[FATSAN]

When I first got into Kung Fu films I saw Operation Condor. Which was like excellent. So I was telling my mates about Jackie and his films. So one day I had them come round and we got one of his films out from BlockBuster.

We got out Karate Ghostbuster. In the film Jackie is huanted by three gohsts who are all painted white with like these disco style silver wigs. Each of the ghosts is supposed to be a different animal, distinguished by a plastic toy stuck on top of their head - It was a poor, poor film.

Those who were there still rip into me over that and it was like 8 years ago!

[Davey Bones]

Anything with the following "actors": Cynthia Rothrock, Steven Segal. Van Damme is only moderately better, but he has not aged well at all, and his movies keep getting worse.

[FATSAN]

How can you put van damme above Steven Segal!!

[Davey Bones]

He's in shape and easier on the eyes than Segal. It's all about the eye candy when comparing two really bad actors.

[FATSAN]

but his a plum!

[Kwajman]

I know this is sacrilege but anything by Bruce Lee. Bad sound and film syncronization, too stereotypical.

[ANCIENTMASTER]

The Next Karate Kid, Iron Monkey was overhyped because of the plot and I'm no fan of flying.

[aikiMac]

The Next Karate Kid, Iron Monkey was overhyped because of the plot and I'm no fan of flying.
I'm totally with you on Next KK, but Iron Monkey?!?! It was no CTHD but come on, it was good! The fight at the end, on poles, was pretty neat.


know this is sacrilege but anything by Bruce Lee. Bad sound and film syncronization, too stereotypical.
Heh heh heh! I love you, man! :D

[Korpy]

Bruce Lee's movies are great, you don't like those, you have no taste in movies.

Also I liked most films done by Seagal, Norris, and Van Damme.

[ANCIENTMASTER]

Somone told me it was fantastic I was very very dissapointed....it was just to farfetched for a martial arts movie. The shaolin monk sleeve attack and poison hand, the fluidity of the fight scenes was good. I'm more of an Ong Bak fan...

[kano junior]

Gotta be-The Tuxedo -Jackie Chan

ooo what a shocker

[Falcon-JJ]

once upon a time in china
jet li - C c r r r a a a a p p p p p
I hope you get cancer


for me, no idea, but there are probably worse movies then the ones wich I have in mind.

[KickChick]

Not a nice thing to say.... please review MAP's TOS http://www.martialartsplanet.com/maprules.htm :rolleyes:

[TheMightyMcClaw]

Daredevil. I've tried twice to watch the whole movie, but I couldn't bear through it. And I've watched some bad movies. I mean... Ben Afleck has the stubbiest legs of all human beings. The man must be like 75% torso.

Any Karate Kid movies (as well as any movies inspired by Karate Kid) deserve honorable mention. Those films just advanced the cause of Misconceptions about Martial Arts in the west.

[R Strausbaugh]

"Fist of Fear, Touch of Death"
Reeks.
There are worse movies with MA sequences, but they don't really qualify as "martial arts movies".

[itchyfeet]

Apparently Tarrantino is a big Jackie Chan fan, I’d really like to see him make a MA film! That would definitely be a lot more interesting than the average MA film.


Haven't you seen Kill Bill? :eek:

[Anomandaris]

lets see ones that suck?

Hero, House of Flying Daggers and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

when was the last time you leapt 30 odd feet and flew through the tree tops with a magic sword fighitng people with similar abilities and pretending that you have enlightenment cos you can fly?

sorry but seriously most MA fights are nothing like what they should be.

and Kill Bill?

what crap...that stupid sword of hers would be so blunt at the end that it would be worse than an iron pipe...at least the pipe would have some weight behind it...(I shouldn't need to point out who Hattori Hanzo was to the Ninjutsu guys)...and the blood...oh the blood...so how high must those peoples blood pressure be to spray it that far for that long?

sorry sorry but I like realisem in my films...or comedy, I cant watch historical films with my family anymore...they wont let me...Trebuchets in Arthur...used by people not even French...in the 1st Century rather than the 13th...by people who have never really engaged in seige warfare...

[ANCIENTMASTER]

Dont know whether or not youd call this a MA movie, but it had MA inspired sequences that made absolutely no sense. Not only in MA but for movies in General Batman and Robin is probably the worst film over made. As for Daredevil, I liked some of the sequences(CGI stunts etc)...you're probably right about how much it sucked though. Kill Bill was horrible, it simple made no sense and was depressing. Rapid fire with Brandon Lee was cheesy.

[wazzabi]

i hate MA movies made by Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal. they're both very good fighters, just they just look like crap on the screen, also their choreographing is horrible. and the worst part is, everybody they fight sucks, so there's no point in watching the fights, you know who's gonna win. if you compare them to Jet Li movies, there's always another good martial artist that faces off with him, so it makes it more exciting to watch. but what's the point of watching a martial arts experpt beat the crap outa ppl that can't even fight?

[karate P.belt 2]

when was the last time you leapt 30 odd feet and flew through the tree tops with a magic sword fighitng people with similar abilitiesI do it all the time

[FlashyBallz]

lets see ones that suck?

Hero, House of Flying Daggers and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

when was the last time you leapt 30 odd feet and flew through the tree tops with a magic sword fighitng people with similar abilities and pretending that you have enlightenment cos you can fly?

sorry but seriously most MA fights are nothing like what they should be.

and Kill Bill?

what crap...that stupid sword of hers would be so blunt at the end that it would be worse than an iron pipe...at least the pipe would have some weight behind it...(I shouldn't need to point out who Hattori Hanzo was to the Ninjutsu guys)...and the blood...oh the blood...so how high must those peoples blood pressure be to spray it that far for that long?

sorry sorry but I like realisem in my films...or comedy, I cant watch historical films with my family anymore...they wont let me...Trebuchets in Arthur...used by people not even French...in the 1st Century rather than the 13th...by people who have never really engaged in seige warfare...

House of flying daggers clearly isnt a realistic movie so the lack of realism doesnt make it a bad movie (making it realistic while it isn't supposed to would make it a bad one ;)).

And Kill Bill? I thought there was pretty little blood as it is supposed to be a not drawn but realistic filmed "manga/anime" movie.

[thetallguy]

Ok.. I was inspired as a kid by kickboxer.. which incidentaly has some quite realistic fight scenes.. unlike blood sport... haha.
Have you seen Tiger Heart? How bad.. or Jackie Chan in Rumble in Hong Kong>?? Jees.. Daredevil.. when he fights Ms Garner in the playground.. that is sooooo bad... I kept cringing with the poor moves.. and Ben needs to actually workout instead of sticking out his chest.
What's the name of that film with "Bruce Leeroy?!" :bang:

[Anomandaris]

House of flying daggers clearly isnt a realistic movie so the lack of realism doesnt make it a bad movie (making it realistic while it isn't supposed to would make it a bad one ;)).


yes but I think its bad because it isnt realistic, when I watch a martial arts film I want to see martial arts as they are meant to be used, not something loosely based on the concepts of martial arts masquerading as a MA film

And Kill Bill? I thought there was pretty little blood as it is supposed to be a not drawn but realistic filmed "manga/anime" movie.


yes but if I want to watch Anime or Manga I'll watch it in that format as thats how its meant to be seen(and yes I do watch Anime and Manga...its my secret shame) kill bill was funny...I'm sorry but it was, the fighting was utterly senseles and too stupid to be seen as anything but funny...in a sadistic way.

lucy liu's bodyguard with the sword and the wooden scabbard was best...his blood pressure must have been through the roof to spew it for about 5 or 6 feet through an entire 10 minute fight sequence.

[Wali]

It's gotta be 'Black Belt Jones'... The king of Afro made this one off the back of Enter the Dragon. There are some real cringe worthy moments, like the part at the masters funeral, where they stand in line in their fly-suits and punch the air with kiais....

Waste of time, yet found myself unable to change channel to see what hilariously bad moments were coming up next...

[oni_sensei]

Kill Bill isn't meant to be a live action anime. If Quentin Tarantino wanted something like that, he'd have paid Production I.G. to animate the whole movie, not a small 10 minute section. It's an homage to Asian martial arts cinema in general.

[Soultraveling]

I've learned quite a lot from you guys. Some of you have no imagination and sadly can't enjoy movies which aim at stimulating that part of your brain. Some of you have no respect for a lot of good movies in the past - whether they be bruce lee movies or other "old kung fu movies." Yes, most of them have boring or plain bad plots and/or dubbing, duh! they are old movies! Most fight scenes today have cut scenes and are not continuous. These guys in the old days would fight on screen for 5-20 minutes! That's crazy.

If you watch 2 or 3 documentaries on shoalin kung fu then I think more of you will find older kung fu movies more enjoyable. To see exactly what these people are capable of will test your beliefs of what can be real or not.

As for bad movies, I have a old, I guess rare, kung fu movie called Method Man. They do some cool tricks/stunts in the movie, but this one is laughably bad. In fact, if these movies are considered bad, just laugh. Don't hate the genre.

[Ashiro]

To say Hero, etc are unrealistic is a ridiculous statement.
They are myth, legend and fantasy. They are primarily about telling a classical story with all its magical and mythical embellishments. They make no claim to being realistic or correct.

If you put down Hero, HoFD, etc for being unrealistic MA films then you should put down the story of King Arthur, Camelot and Excalibur as being unrealistic and rubbish.

The films are myth and a major part of that myth is martial arts based but that doesn't make it a strictly martial arts film.

[BlackDragon]

What's the name of that film with "Bruce Leeroy?!" :bang:
Berry gordys "the last dragon"

Am I the meanist Sho Nuff, Am I the prettiest Sho Nuff, Am I the meanist
Lowdown this side of harlem Sho Nuff.
-Sho Nuff-
"The Sho Gun of Harlem"

[BlackDragon]

I wouls pick Blade 2 And 3.
Give me a break

[ExpertNovice]

Without contest; No Retreat No Surrender!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the absolute worst moive much less martial arts film of all time.

[ap Oweyn]

Without contest; No Retreat No Surrender!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the absolute worst moive much less martial arts film of all time.

Bite your tongue! :)

I watched China O'Brien the other night... in Spanish. Now that's craptastic.


Stuart

[scorpiousmac]

Daredevil. I've tried twice to watch the whole movie, but I couldn't bear through it. And I've watched some bad movies. I mean... Ben Afleck has the stubbiest legs of all human beings. The man must be like 75% torso.

Any Karate Kid movies (as well as any movies inspired by Karate Kid) deserve honorable mention. Those films just advanced the cause of Misconceptions about Martial Arts in the west.

Second that.My bro and me walked out after ten minutes of Daredevil,that first fight scene made us laugh out loud.And any of those films with the three little ninja kids,hmmm also watched a couple of old Jet lee films the other day that were soo bad I cant remember their titles :cry:

[Kwajman]

I watched China O'Brien the other night... in Spanish. Now that's craptastic.


Stuart


Craptastic? I like that word. I'll have to see how many times today I can use it!! :)

How about Kung Fu Hustle, thats a bad movie. Made Kung Pow look oscar worthy.

[Anomandaris]

To say Hero, etc are unrealistic is a ridiculous statement.
They are myth, legend and fantasy. They are primarily about telling a classical story with all its magical and mythical embellishments. They make no claim to being realistic or correct.

If you put down Hero, HoFD, etc for being unrealistic MA films then you should put down the story of King Arthur, Camelot and Excalibur as being unrealistic and rubbish.

The films are myth and a major part of that myth is martial arts based but that doesn't make it a strictly martial arts film.


I did say that Arthur(the newest one) was terrible as well...

[joltvolta]

Oh, I'm not sure why this hasn't been mentioned, but I've got you all beat.
The title of this movie is Rickie-O .. or Ricky-O depending on translation. If you see it, buy it. Its one of those movies that is fun to watch drunk ( or in some state ). Trust me, the worst movie by far that included martial arts of any kind.

Oh, and Van Damn, Segal movies are pretty horriable too. Its the smug attitude that they have in the movies and in interviews. They think they are a walking, talking god of death and wisdom. The pony tail has gotta go along with the overdone tan. And Van Damn has no acting skill.

-- jolt

[ANCIENTMASTER]

I concur, the last dragon was a waste of film, time, money, energy, and it bastardised the martial arts. Last Dragon makes Jim Kellys Black Samurai look like the greatest movie of all time.

Berry gordys "the last dragon"

Am I the meanist Sho Nuff, Am I the prettiest Sho Nuff, Am I the meanist
Lowdown this side of harlem Sho Nuff.
-Sho Nuff-
"The Sho Gun of Harlem"

[scaythe]

Almost anything made in the 80s/early 90s with ninja in the title. Though I must admit I'll still quite happily watch most of them for the cheese factor. Particularly the fight at the end of American Ninja 1 (I won't even start on the other 4) where there's a bit of MA, then it suddenly turns into something very much akin to the assault course type thing at the end of Gladiators where when the bad guy very slowly dodges through his set of swinging, blade studded hay-bales, the hero then follows him, rather than just running past and waiting for him at the far end, etc etc, and then the lasers etc start appearing...
Oh yes, Ninja Warrior also, for the obscureness of seven random ninja at the start burying themselves in the sand after committing a robbery, and for things that can only really be described as the 'Hubcap of Death' appearing from nowhere at the end to be thrown about.
And American Shaolin for acting so cheesy it's unbelievable and actually quite painful, especially near the start where he's talking with his master on the beach. It was like a bad highschool rendition of Grease at that point. It is, however, one of those films that's so bad that you tend to find yourself watching it again for some obscure and quite possibly warped reason.

[Wax]

Any action flick that shows blurred capes or movement instead of actual fighting. Yes, Batman Begins, I'm talking to you. It had a fantastic training scene and was an awsome movie - apart from that blurred cape.

[slipthejab]

:D Ok, didn't take the time to read the whole thread... but if someone's posted it before then it's soooooooooooo bad it's worth reposting....

Champions

The total C grade fight flik about underground cage fights starring none other than 'The World's Most Dangerous Man'.... Ken Shamrock. :D

I bought it hoping there would be some decent fight scene choreography... LOL!!! What a dog this film is. It's surprising it ever even made it to video release. You couldn't give this friggin' film away.

It's too dumb to even try to sit through looking for good fight scenes. I just about wore my fast forward button clean out. :D

[littlewarrior]

last hero in china (jet li) as a chicken
fatal flying guillotine
there are so many lame films but i dont watch for the story i just like the fight scenes

[gurojay]

i watched so many bad straight to video MA movies in the late nineties, you want bad movies watch anything staring lauren avedon, richard norton or some guy called keith whose surname i have forgot , these three are lame beyond words
but for me the one that really sticks in my memory is My bodyguard starring some korean fella, now that really sucked.

[Jesh]

I am sorry that I have to say this (you're still my hero Bas !!!), but The Eliminator with Bas Rutten was utter crap. Instead buy one of his instructional tapes, those are waaaaay better.

[geves]

hmmm. good question and i got a few to add to the fray.

i agree with everyone who said: "crouching tiger hidden dragon",

"steven segal" (why watch a movie where the hero never gets touched? oh and take a drink everytime he throws someone through glass :D )

american ninja (all of them). nothing beats part 2 or 3. which ever one has the scene where there's two ninjas wearing black ninja suits ON THE BEACH and IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!! to top that NO ONE SEES THEM :bang:

"ninja turf" (got this movie in a 10 pack... it has to be seen to be believed).

"brazilian brawl" starring the machado brothers. this is probably the worst movie i've ever seen. no really. it's right up there with my next pick.
http://www.kungfucinema.com/reviews/brazilianbrawl.htm look at some of the pictures...you'll know.

"versus" this is the most turd movie i've ever watched. alot of people seem to like it, but they are wrong. this movie will lower your IQ quicker than a "slingblade" marathon. STAY AWAY FROM THIS MOVIE.

[gurojay]

ive not heard of brazilian brawl, but even if it is bad , who wouldnt want to see guro inosanto play the machados uncle, im off to amazon to buy it staright away lol

[Taliar]

Any MA film based on a beat 'em up computer game.

Street Fighter (apart from the fine Miss Minogue)
Mortal Combat

and the dreadful - Double Dragon

[geves]

i just bought a 50, YES 50 PACK!! of martial art films for $20 :D

so there is going to be a HUGE update to this section. included in the bundle is Ninja Death 1,2, & 3. (which i've read reviews on it. saying it was one of the best crappy movies of all time :eek: ) also there's tons of bruce li/lei movies on there.

it's a crap filled stravaganza folks :D

i'll watch a few of them at a time (i don't want my mind to break :D ). then i'll tell you what i think.

i may be in over my head on this one. this is looking to be a true test of might. about half of the movies in this pack aren't even listed on IMDB. so i know i'm in for a hurting. :cry:

[Cougar_v203]

all chinese kung poo movies. I never liked any of them...cept drunken master that was cool and bl movies (at least in bruce lee movies they don't have crazy flying abilities).

Jean Claude Movies